Why I have such a hard time connecting with people I just met. Im not a very bubbily person that is good at making friends with someone new. I get quiet and don’t really talk much. I just can’t get myself to connect with them most the time. It’s really hard for me to open up with people emotionally. Trust is really hard for me to give too. I just always have this guard up but I can’t help it.
I don’t really know what to consider ‘bestfriends’. What makes a bestfriend? I’ve had friends I once considered bestfriends. Ones that have made such a big impact on my life but just walked out or we grew apart. And if they are in my life again, it’s just not what it was anymore.
I have a guy best friend named Mitchel Cheverts. AKA Meetzel. Known him since 3rd grade but wasn’t close til 6th. Then got super close 8th-9th grade. He’s always there for me whether if it’s I was bored and want to do something he’d be my go to person because I know he’d be down to do anything. Or if I was having emotional frustrations about life I could talk to him about it because I know he’d probably be feeling the same way. We think alike, we have a similar life style. Our mom’s loves each other.
Then there’s Lina Danh my life long friend who I’ve known since 1st grade. Best friends at first and stopped til 5th grade and have been ever since. She gets my interests and supports me. We think a lot alike sometimes. We’ll be talking shit and end up thinking the same exact thing. She really makes an effort to be in my life even though im not the best replier.
And other people im close with are Stephanie, Jayson, Jarita, Katherine, Laura, and Christine.
What I love about myself-
How independent and strong-willed I am. How motivated I am to have a great future and not let things get in the way of it. How stubborn I am. How I enjoy to read so much. How I suck at lying therefore I never do so. Im content with my weight. My hair. This is an awkward question lol.
Biggest turn ons-
Book and street smart. A guy who knows what they want to do in life. Someone who’s real with me. A guy who is confident in their looks. Curly/wavy brown medium long ish hair. A guy who can keep a conversation going for days on end. Good grammar. Fearless. Spontaneous. Charming. Romantic. Basically a guy with more to them than just good looks.
Biggest turn offs-
Guys who don’t take care of themselves. Like hygiene and dressing wise. Someone who always talks down on themselves. Not understanding. Doesn’t get my culture. A guy who’s cocky about his looks but ain’t even cute. Guys who care too much about what other people think. Homophobes. Bad grammar. Boring people. Needy. Someone who I can’t get to know on a deeper level. Enthusiastic guys. Melodramatic guys.
My idea of a perfect date-
A late night chill car ride, just cruising around town. Then parking on top of a cliff and looking up at the stars and reminiscing about life.
A description of the person I dislike the most-
I don’t really dislike anyone much. If I do, im just annoyed of them. But I don’t hate them.
What my greatest achievements are-
Making it on the BP fashion board. Making it on the drill team. Making it on the ignite mentor team. Finishing 10 books in 3 weeks. Getting in the top 20% highest gpa average in whole my grade. Passing all the swimming levels at Hazen.
The meanest thing someone has ever said to me-
Hm.. I kinda forget after time. Because I don’t like to channel my energy on negative things that was just said in the heat of the moment. But do keep in mind that if someone said mean things and tried to take them back and blame it on anger that it’s not true. That person atleast thought those things otherwise why would they say them?
The sweetest thing someone has ever said to me-
I’ll keep this one private. Just cause, well yeah. It wouldn’t be so sweet anymore if it’s out there, you know? Me being the only one who knows makes it sweet.
Annoying people. People who don’t know proper grammar. When people only hit me up when they want something from me. When people never want to hang with me but say we should more. Being born here instead of New York. Being left out. Intentional biters. People who suck at everything. People walking in and out of my life. People who betray my trust. Flakers. Explaining myself. Being asked dumb questions. Repetitive noise. Witnessing fakeness. Knowing someone is lying to me. Stupid mundanes (lol). The list goes on.
A description of the boy I like-
A 5’9 foot tall white boy so pale he looks as if he’s dying. He has these amazing blue eyes as if the color of an aqua tank. Everytime I look at him I melt a little inside because I’ve never seen anything more beautiful. He has these amazing high cheek bones that can cut my tits. He’s skinner than me and plays guitar. He sings me to sleep every night. He is so ah-mazing!!!!!!! Lol sike.
My favourite songs right now-
Every single song from the Gorilla Manor album by Local Natives. Animal Collective- My Girls. And… Gucci Gucci by Kreayshawn. LOL.
Well, I want to go to an out of state university, somewhere far far away from here. Preferably the east coast. Specifically New York. I want attend NYU or FIT and major in retail marketing or something. I haven’t decided yet. I want to work for a fashion magazine and attend fashion shows. People always assume that since i’m into the industry I want to be a designer, but I don’t. I’m more into what’s put on display and what makes a trend and all that. I’m more of a critic then a creative designer. Lol. Well yeah.
1- My best friends are. 2- What I hate most about myself. 3- What I love most about myself. 4- What I’m really good at. 5- What I’m really bad at. 6- Biggest turn ons. 7- Biggest turn offs. 8- What I want to be when I get older. 9- My relationship with my sibling(s). 10- My relationship with my parents. 11- My idea of a perfect date. 12- My biggest pet peeves. 13- A description of the boy I like. 14- A description of the person I dislike the most. 15- A reason I’ve lied to a friend. 16- Where I have lived before. 17- A description of the family I want to have when I’m older. 18- What my greatest achievements are. 19- What I hate the most about school. 20- How my last kiss when down. 21- Most embarrassing moment. 22- What my last text message says. 23- What words upset me the most. 24- What words make me the best about myself. 25- A description of my self-esteem. 26- A description of my best friend. 27- The reason behind my last break up. 28- My favourite songs right now. 29- A wish that I’ve wished for repeatedly on 11:11. 30- An internal conflict I have with myself. 31- The meanest thing anyone has ever said to me. 32- The sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me.
Do not like me. Do not fall hopelessly in love with me. I will bring you nothing but pain. You see? I’m telling you this now so you won’t have to start at all. I’m telling you the truth. As much as I want to be loved and held, I will not give into it. I’m afraid just like you, but I’m not willing to take that chance until I know who is worth it. I’m not. Take this suggestion, or suffer later.
your clothes are cute!
where do you usually shop at?
Thanks <3 But how do you know what I wear? I never post up any of my clothes… unless you know me in real life then this is just silly to post on anon :)
Where do I shop? Well, I can never really find anything at the mall so I can’t really give you specific stores. I go into stores like Forever 21 and I get overwhelmed and lazy and it’s like a fucking maze so I give up. I shop for jewelry there though. But I barely go to the mall, it holds a lot of common clothing that’s a bit over my price range.
So I guess that leaves online shopping on random shops online or ebay. I guess it’s typical but I shop mostly thrift stores, second hand shops. I like hunting down stuff and designer shit. I love the thrill of it, it’s fun and I always end up going home satisfied. When you go thrifting you don’t know what to expect. You just search and find good cheap stuff you never knew existed.